7 Steps to Addressing Traumatic Events
Process your own emotions: Label your own emotions and use selfcare strategies - kids & teens will look to you as role models for how to cope with these incidents.
Initiate dialogue: Show kids & teens that you understand what is going on and are here to support them by bringing up difficult topics.
Address the incident directly: To get the dialogue started, ask kids & teens what they have heard and what they know about the incident. Don’t wait for them to come to you to strike up conversation, instead ask them direct questions such as:
“Tell me what you’ve heard about [the incident]?”
“What do you know about [the incident] that took place this week?”
“What have you seen or heard about [the incident] on the news or on social media?”
Show willingness to answer questions: Kids & teens will feel more comfortable discussing the incident if they know you are willing to answer questions and listen to their concerns. Try saying things such as:
“I am here to talk and answer any questions you may have about [the incident].”
“I know that this is an upsetting time for many of you, please know that I am here to answer any questions or concerns you have about [the incident].”
“Does anyone have any questions about what happened during [the incident]?
Validate & listen to feelings: Ask kids & teens to share their feelings about the incident, and respond with empathy as validation that you are listening without directly telling them how they should feel or that you know how they feel. Here are some helpful prompts:
“It sounds like you are feeling [sad/upset/scared] about this [incident].”
“Do you feel safe at school, the Club, and our community? What is it that you’re worried about?”
It is important to validate why kids & teens are feeling the way they are – if we just discount their feelings with throwaway statements such as “You are going to be fine” or “I know how you feel,” we shut down the conversation and kids & teens may no longer feel safe bringing up their emotions.
6. Continue to check in: Check back in regularly during the coming weeks to see how kids & teens are coping with and processing the incident
7. Look for solutions: Kids & teens are action-oriented - ask, "What can we do to create positive change in our Club, school, or community?" and support them in starting a meaningful project or campaign.